i had a dream we were walking through a stone tunnel. the light guiding us was dimming and i knew that if we didn't leave this place before the darkness came, we would both die. a terror spread through me and a terrible joy. the fear was for you. the joy was for me. i began to imagine some way i could fall back as we grew close to the entrance, fall back into the shadows and become oblivion. to put an end to this journey. it was too long. i was not enough. as we walked in silence, i felt your hand in mine. why did i believe that keeping you alive was the most important thing? i knew what waited for you at the end of the tunnel. i knew somehow that you were planning the same thing, to throw me into the light before falling back into nothing. we stopped. the only sound was the drip of water from the walls, water that had carved out this place for millions of years. the rushing of water grew louder until it became deafening and we were both washed away into the blackness. i was alone. as i ran my fingers over my palm, i felt the small dents that your fingernails had made.